Wednesday, November 24, 2004


It is the time of year to pause and reflect on the things for which you are grateful. Actually, it should be done continuously throughout the year, but now is good too. So, here goes.

I am thankful for my beautiful children, Morgan and Jacob. I am thankful for their health, their humor, their resilience, their intelligence, and all the little things about them that make them so uniquely them. They are light and joy to my soul, even when they are testing their independence (and their parents) I am thankful that I am raising strong children.

I am thankful for my husband Bart. I am thankful for his heart, his strength, his character. I am thankful for the substance within him and once again, thankful for all the little things about him that make him so uniquely him. For dreaming big, for having the intelligence and motivation to actually achieve those dreams. There has been no individual on this planet other than Bart that was so worthy an investment of my heart, soul, mind, devotion, loyalty, everything. I believe in Bart. Thank you for Bart.

I am thankful for this new little being, Francesca, that Bart and I decided to create. I am thankful for her wiggles and her kicks. I am thankful for her apparent health so far and am in continuous prayer for her continued health. I know she will bring more joy to our family than we can even imagine.

I am thankful for a loving family, a mother who I truly respect and look up to and aspire to be like, wonderful siblings so talented and good hearted, a father so stoic and successful, a stepmother so willing to be there for me, a stepdad that provides so well for mom and the kids and loves us all in his own way. An extended family that is so diverse and wonderful.

I am thankful for Stacia, my oldest and dearest friend. She is tried and true, the one person I can call in the middle of the night and cry to. In actuality, to call her "friend" falls much too short of what she is. She is family. She just is. I love her dearly, no matter what.

I am thankful for having everything I need, a home, food, job, car to get me there, all the basics that I tend to take for granted. My health, my soul, what makes me who I am.

I am thankful for a God that is good, even when other things are not.

I am blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Monday, November 22, 2004

Hey! Long time no blog... (subtitle: She said, He heard...)

Bad weekend folks. Let me start by saying that sulking is bad. No wait, let me start by saying that nesting is inevitable and a practical necessity. NOW I'll say that sulking is bad. It is. Period.

However, after duly apologizing for said sulking I tried to communicate with Bart. Here is my version of a reinactment in a nutshell.

She said: Bart, I'm having a hard time finding a balance between not nagging and telling you what I need your help with.

He heard: You lazy bastard why don't you ever help me with anything around the house? You're good for nothing and I abhore you.

Then after much yelling at me, (who wouldn't yell at someone who called them a lazy, abhored bastard that never does anything after all?)and many hours later...

She said: I don't want to fight Bart but I'd like to know, are you not helping me around the house because we fought about it and you're trying to make the point that if I fight with you about it you won't help?

He heard: You f-ing retarded asshat... You must do what I say when I say it, you must bow to my every command, you must be subservient and be my bitch - that's all you are, after all, is my little girly bitch.

So, after much yelling again (Who wouldn't tell their wife to shut the f up and get off their f-ing back when she is calling him her little bitch and demanding total subserviency really?)Bart wore himself out and fell asleep on the couch.

So, it was a productive, peaceful, pleasant weekend at Bart and Camille's place this weekend.

The moral of the story: Sulking is bad. Men really are from Mars and Women really are from Venus... obviously.

To be safe here I must also add that being Martian, I'm sure Bart has a very, VERY different version of the said events as cited. Being a very good Venutian, I'm plenty big enough to admit that and am also big enough to invite Bart to post his Martian version at will.

By the way Bart, you're a cyborg.... and I love you.

Thankfully, there's always another weekend.


Friday, November 12, 2004

Francesca @ 24w 3d

So, thanks to my shortened cervix we got a second ultrasound yesterday and another look at little Francesca. She is looking good! She's a svelte 1lb. 12oz. - looks like she might be able to be a super-model as long as she can maintain her weight. I was relieved to see she DOES have a right arm, as well as a left one. It dawned on me after the 1st ultrasound that I didn't see it. She didn't have to have a right arm for me to love her, but it helps when you want to play pat-a-cake. Anyways, all is well in my womb and the cervix is looking like a non-issue since it only shortened by 2mm in the past 4 weeks and that could just be due to the margin of error. So, looks like she will be a February baby after all, knock on wood.

Bart and I decided that we would skip the trip to visit his family at Thanksgiving. I'm relieved. I don't want to hear his mom exclaim how fat I am while lifting up my shirt - that just may require more restraint than I possess. Now I have to figure out how to get out of Christmas... think, think, think.....

Well, that's all for now folks.


Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Pot Roast in the Garbage Disposal

Oi vey. Bart was trying to do a good thing in disposing of the month old pot roast. He did not know that garbage disposals hate pot roast. So, much cursing ensued this morning when the finicky old garbage disposal vomited all over the cabinet under the sink and the floor. It was a flooded mess. When I left the house this morning it smelled like old meat. I can't wait to go home. Nothing like the aroma of putrid meat to greet you at the end of a long day. Now, Bart and I will have to tackle the garbage disposal to try to restore it to it's former, non-spewing self.

Fun, fun. Especially for me who can NOT bend over. Sheesh.

On another little pleasant note. If you are designated the person to pick up Krispy Kreme doughnuts for your meeting in the morning at work, do not, DO NOT, leave the leftover doughnuts on your desk for your "colleagues" to enjoy throughout the day. You will eat them all. Or you will eat as many as you can before getting dangerously close to a sugar induced coma. Just a public service announcement for you.

That is all.


Tuesday, November 09, 2004

My brain hurts and I want to go home...

I work a LOT. I leave the Northern Hinterlands where I live at 6:30 a.m. and drop the kids off at daycare, I then proceed on my journey to this place where I live, um I mean, work. I get here at around 7:30 a.m. then I work until 6:00 p.m., or until I am able to leave, which is sometimes even later. Then I leave here and make the return journey to the aforementioned Hinterlands. I get home around 7:15 p.m.

By the time I get home it's all I can do to slither in the house, collapse on couch or bed. (Choice of which depends upon the energy I have at my disposal as the couch is a good 20 paces closer than my bed.) I then try to be all chipper and cheery as I inquire about the kiddos days at school, the hubby's day at work. I get something to eat or eat with the family, depending on if they could starve long enought to wait for me. Then I try my damndest to enter a vegatative state until bedtime for the kids - that process beginning at 8:30 p.m.

I then try to release the tension that has settled in every muscle of my body and try to unwind enough to just fall asleep. I'd say I'm usually sleeping by 9:30 p.m. these days. Hubby's alarm goes off at 3:00 a.m.

I'm tired. I'm fat, um, I mean pregnant. I'm a little miserable. I want to take a hiatus, a sabbatical, a vacation. Heck, I could fake a good coma if I had too. Would that work?

On a bright cheery note, I finally found a bra that sort of kind of meets my pregnant body's requirements. It isn't made out of concrete with steel reinforcements either which is more cheery news. My chest is probably the most disconcerting physical change of this pregnancy - it will never, ever be the same. Don't get me wrong, it had already suffered the effects of 2 breastfed babies but this 3rd pregnancy has pushed them over the edge. Really it is ridiculous. They are enormous and my nipples are just about the circumference of tennis balls. Why, I ask you, was that necessary??? I'll tell Bart to start my cosmetic surgery fund now, God knows I'll need it.

Oh the glistening, dewy joys of pregnancy! Moo.

Exhaustedly yours,

Monday, November 08, 2004

Long weekend...

I managed to stay busy this weekend. I shampooed the living room carpet to see if it would look less like a crime scene in there but alas, the stains are tougher than I gave them credit for. I started reading a book, The Blind Assassin, which is pretty cool so far. I went to both of the kids' last soccer games and I went shopping for Jake - he is growing like a weed and had nothing to wear. I also went and did some much overdue grocery shopping with Bart.

Bart and I got into a stupid argument last night all because I said something that he took in a way that I did not intend it... it went from bad to worse. I'm still licking my wounds a bit from that one. It was just his tone of voice. Sometimes it seems like how a person REALLY feels seeps out when they don't realize it and it's hard to take something back once it's been said. I've said some things in the past to Bart that I wish I could take back but he'll never forget them. I guess it was his tone last night that forged it into my brain. I'm having a harder time shaking this off than I usually do.

I love Bart and my feelings were hurt.

Ok, I'm moving on now.

On an even UNHAPPIER note, I am beginning to get cellulite on my hips! OH MY GOD! PLEASE tell me it goes away when I get un-fat.... Oh I was so NOT prepared for this. Ick, yuck, blech, arrrghh.



Monday, November 01, 2004

And so it begins...

the dark season, that is. I always become varying phases of a train wreck during the fall and winter months because it is dark in the morning when I leave for work and it's dark in the evening when I leave the office to come home. It makes me so sad. I feel like I roll my kids out of bed in the morning and get home in time to kiss them goodnight. I fall apart every year during this time and spend the rest of the year trying to paste myself back together. Well, that's all I wanted to say today. I have to leave now - in the dark - to drive home, an hour long drive. Sigh. Choke. Sniff.