Ummm, it's vintage....

So, since I start work on Monday, I have had to go through my closet and see what is still wearable from my work wardrobe from 2.5 years ago, well, actually more like over 3 years ago since my work wardrobe for most of 2004 and the first two months of 2005 consisted of maternity clothes.

So, I found a couple of things in my closet that I've had FOREVER.

A GAP red long sleeve t-shirt that I've had since I was 14.
A t-shirt from a walk-a-thon I did when I was 15.
A dress I wore to a company party when I was 23.

I wondered what are the oldest items of clothing still in your closet?

What's the most useless thing you have in your closet that you will probably never, ever wear?

Mine is a pair of black cowboy boots that a guy bought me on our first date so he could take me to a country bar. I don't really do the cowboy boot thing (or the country bar thing). I wore them one other time for a western themed night at a conference I went to in Scottsdale, AZ. I keep them just in case I have another need for for western night attire.

Going back in the closet...
Camille

Bad day to go to the zoo.

Today is my last full weekday with the kids so I wanted to do something special with them. So, I packed them up to go to the Dallas Zoo. Off I-35. In Dallas. At 9:40-ish am. You guys read CNN.com much? So, that's about the time some gas plant decided to explode. Yeah. I was actually on the Dallas North Tollway when it happened and commented to my son that it didn't look good. Well, the exit to I-35 was blocked off but I didn't know what had happened and thought I could get on somewhere else. So I took some back streets and ended up on Industrial. Yeah. The street the stinking plant is on. Ended up at Commerce and Industrial with an excellent view of the whole thing. Sheesh. A couple hours later we ended up back home playing in the inflatable swimming pool in the backyard. So much fun.

The answer to the question is....

To work.

I have accepted a position that is ideal for me. It is only a couple of minutes from the house and the kids' schools. The hours are normal daytime hours. I think I'm as ready as I can be. I have signed the younger two kids up for daycare and I'm happy with my choice of schools. It seems like a pretty cool place.

In other news, I was accepted to Upper Iowa University. I will continue my pursuit of my BS in Human Resources Management. It will take a while but time passes regardless, right?

Well, that's all for now.

Camille

To work or not to work? That is the question.

I am really quite conflicted. Part of me is very ready to return to work and the adult world. Part of me is very ready to earn money again. All of me is ready for a new house that fits us all. Very little of me is ready to have the kids in daycare again and have to make arrangements for before and after school for my oldest as well. I really don't know what to do at all. So, I'm in a quandry here. What to do? What to do?

More later,
Camille

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

I know I'm behind the rest of the pack with having JUST read this book. I'm so glad I finally did. It was a sad story but it really drew you in. What I loved most about the book was the honesty of self-reflection of the main character, Amir. He never tried to make himself seem anything but what he was, with all the unpleasant, oft hidden traits so familiar to the rest of us. It was also a very interesting glimpse into Afghani culture pre-Soviet and US wars. I will be reading Hosseini's new book soon, A Thousand Splendid Suns. I hope it "grabs" me as this one did.

A little bit of nothing...

I have nothing at all to say so I figured that I would say it here. I was going back over some of my previous years posts and thought about sanitizing some of them for readers that know me. I only have a couple of those kind of readers. Actually, since I quit updating, they may be my only readers. Anyways, I thought about cleaning it up a bit but then I decided against it. Why would I do that? It's hard to be transparent. I talked about that once. I can't say that this blog is an accurate depiction of who Camille really is... (anybody out there giggling about that sentence?) The point is this, I don't trust in the anonymity of the internet and that being said, can't be too open. Maybe some other blog in some future years and I will be able to do that. Maybe. There are some things that are kept very close to the vest and I can't see my way around that. But the absences - the things I don't say - they represent the greater part of who I am. I think that is why I don't update as much anymore, there is too much not to say. Nothing dramatic, my present is very ordinary I guess. Ach, now I'm being vague and cryptic. Whatever. It's not important.

Overall, I'm very happy. Bart and I are doing well. We both are suffering from the mundane monotony of it all but far better that than other drama. But we're bored. Collectively. I told him out of the blue the other day that he should make sure to never associate the way our lives are right now as something for which I am responsible. I took the opportunity to remind him that it was me that was always dragging him out of the house to go do this or that and see this or that. I hated sitting still, hated being stagnate. Well, I thought he should be reminded that I am still that person, I haven't changed.

Have you thought about that? I told my girlfriend that I haven't changed, I just get more and more surprised when I look in the mirror. I'm the same person. I think as a child, or even as a young adult (WTF am I now?), I didn't think it would work this way. But it does.

I love my children. I love my husband. I will continue to pour all of myself into this life. But let me tell you, I can't wait for an empty nest. Is that horrible? I want so much that I never had. That I denied myself. I exchanged youth for motherhood. It was a good trade but I want some of it back and dammit, it will be mine. Someday. Someday.