Purging

As the calendar page turned to the New Year, it incited within me a panic that I suppose was lying dormant. It was January of last year, the 23rd to be precise, that Bart left. La-la-la-la. Then he came back. I don't want to talk about it except to say that I had kept every email we wrote each other during that time frame and I had ignored them completely since his homecoming but then when I realized it was January, well, I figured it was time to torture myself I guess and feed the flames of terror that were just waiting for a little fanning. So, a week or so ago I read them all. It was oppressive and terrifying and made me very sad and scared. So, today.... today I purged. I deleted every single one of them. I didn't even open them again to see which ones I was deleting, I just selected the one that started on the 26th (the first one he sent me after he left) and selected every email until the beginning of May and hit delete all. Then I deleted them from my deleted folder. I don't know why I kept them in the first place, they weren't doing anybody any good sitting in there. It was just a ball of hurt I wanted to keep around for some bizarre reason that I don't even know. So, they're gone.

Onward....
Camille